Seven Quick Takes: Why Facebook is Evil

Yes, this post was also inspired by Jennifer at Conversion Diary. I have zero creativity this week. That said: I left some of the "strong opinion" comments, and here is why.

1

Facebook does not respect your privacy. In the latest of a long line of broken promises, Facebook has stopped getting explicit consent from users prior to airing their private content to new audiences. As the New York Times reports, this latest blunder has exposed the company to inquiry from the Federal Trade Commission for flat-out violating a 2011 agreement with FTC regulators. Let me translate that: Zuckerberg broke the law. 

2

Facebook is an unsafe environment for kids and teens. That may sound like an extreme statement, but I stand by it. To quote from the above article again, "Privacy advocates were especially troubled by a provision that states Facebook automatically assumes that the parents of teenagers using the service have given permission for their names and images to be used in Facebook advertising." Now, I am not a parent, but I would imagine that parents of teens would be, shall we say, perturbed by that statement. In addition to the advertising problem however, there is the possibility of communication with creeps. The most common objection to this that I hear (from family members and friends with children) is that they have the passwords to all the accounts and monitor them closely. Um, I hate to break it to you, but kids are pretty darn savvy. It's not all that hard to just create another account while having the "parent-approved" account with your real name. (I didn't do this - I was in college when Facebook started - but I do know teens that have done this. Very easily). The problem is that parents get lulled into a false sense of complacency because they "can see what their kids are doing online." Parents, I am young myself, and the generation younger than me is super savvy when it comes to the internet. Unless you yourself are a computer programmer or work with computers/ social media, your kids are likely two steps ahead of you.

3

It's so creepy that it deserves its own sci-fi novel. Do you know what happens when you finally have had enough and try to disable your account? Well, first of all they don't make it easy, and you have to search through the help topics. But when you do reach the promised land and click "disable my account," the creepiest thing happens. Facebook generates a list of some friends (comically, it was people I wouldn't miss) and says "Jane Doe will miss you." 

I don't think that needs commentary.

4

You get dumber. Consider what Facebook calls the homepage: a feed. That's right folks - line up at the trough. One commenter on Jennifer's blog said it much better than I will; the text won't copy for me, but in a nutshell, she celebrates the fact that she learned that it was Mother Theresa's feast day from a conversation with a friend and found some quotes by her. She says that she gleaned so much more from that experience than if she had been numbed by a serious of memes and quotes on Facebook that she "passively processed and automatically digested." Sound familiar?

Just the other day I was talking with a friend and I told her to look up whomever’s feast day it was and give that saint an extra shout out for prayers answered and…it was Bl. Mother Teresa. How cool! - See more at: http://www.conversiondiary.com/#sthash.4zqJa3m2.dpuf

Just the other day I was talking with a friend and I told her to look up whomever’s feast day it was and give that saint an extra shout out for prayers answered and…it was Bl. Mother Teresa. How cool! And I hadn’t already read 4 quotes from [Mother Teresa], seen 6 memes featuring her image, or visually glutted myself on factoids from her exemplary life. I can’t explain how cool it was to organically ‘discover’ the knowledge for myself instead of passively and automatically ingesting it (and therefore not really processing it) when I logged in every morning. - See more at: http://www.conversiondiary.com/#sthash.4zqJa3m2.dpuf

Just the other day I was talking with a friend and I told her to look up whomever’s feast day it was and give that saint an extra shout out for prayers answered and…it was Bl. Mother Teresa. How cool! And I hadn’t already read 4 quotes from [Mother Teresa], seen 6 memes featuring her image, or visually glutted myself on factoids from her exemplary life. I can’t explain how cool it was to organically ‘discover’ the knowledge for myself instead of passively and automatically ingesting it (and therefore not really processing it) when I logged in every morning. - See more at: http://www.conversiondiary.com/#sthash.4zqJa3m2.dpuf

5

But even if you try to be thoughtful, it's a wasted battle, because the medium just isn't designed for that. It's designed for memes and one-liners. Believe it or not, no one is going to become pro-life based on your memes. They will ignore it or de-friend you or get in a protracted and fruitless online battle with you. Somehow I think that a prayer would be more effective, but I guess it wouldn't give that glowing feeling of "look at me I'm so pious and evangelistic."

5

Speaking of which - your ego will explode. I've got a big ego, and Facebook feeds (literally) the beast. It's been said that Facebook was made so that nobodies can google themselves, and it's so true. And before you know it you're telling people what you had for breakfast, even if you used to mock the people who did that. It's always different when it's you, because clearly you're important.

6

Moving on to more practical matters: it creates additional headaches in the rest of your life. Recently they decided to upload all email addresses and phone numbers of your "friends" to your phone (if you have an iPhone). Without warning. Just bam, contact-list explosion. And then when you try to delete the number, it won't let you. Let me repeat that: when you try to delete a phone number from your own phone, the software refuses to comply. It did the same thing to your calendar to - all of a sudden you have everyone and their brothers' birthdays. You have to actually go into the system and trick it. (By the way, if you're hopping mad about this and unable to disable it, here are instructions).

7

And finally, it's just too much work. It looks like the opposite doesn't it? A good way to chill out, catch up on your friends' baby pictures, maybe read a funny article that someone linked to. But in order to avoid all the above-mentioned problems, you have to spend inordinate amounts of time guarding your account. Constant vigilance! Facebook is always changing their privacy policies, without warning, so you have to be on the ball. And yes, you can specialize your Facebook "feed", but how exhausting. And half the time you end up with this agonizing decision: do I block great aunt Lucy who posts gigantic cat pictures every 10 minutes to obtain a cleaner homepage? If I do, I will really hurt her feelings, and she will get on the phone to every family member and talk about how uncaring I am.  And during election season, you will want to de-friend everyone you know.  Isn't it supposed to be fun? What happened to that idea?

*If you decide to delete your account, beware of the regular delete your account page. It doesn't work. Here are instructions for how to permanently (sorta kinda, because it's the Internet) disable your account. (Yes, there is a website called delete Facebook). And to lessen the angst from your friends and family who can't imagine why you would leave, give a nice warning on your wall and make sure you get numbers, email addresses, etc from people who want to give them.

**If you decide to risk it because you want to keep in touch with kids etc (which I'm very sympathetic to, by the way), just remember: this is the equivalent of your permanent record. Remember the cartoon Doug and how the vice-principal would always say "this is going on your permanent record!"? This is it, for reals. Think about that when you talk about the bathroom habits of your two year old. They won't appreciate that in a few years.