Friday, January 24, 2014

7 Quick Takes: Down with Time Management

If I never see those two words put together ever again it won't be too soon. There are people who are good at time management, and you know who you are. You were the kindergartener who carried a mini-hole puncher so you could always fit your work papers into a notebook. In high school you had 18 gazillion volunteer hours and were the head of this committee and that club. And now you're the teacher who has the best classroom on the hall, or the mom who color coordinates her children's towels. You were not the kindergartener who glued her hair to the desk in an attempt to do "artwork." Can we just admit that this is a genetic thing? Some are born with it. The rest of us need to relax. Here's how. (The Dilbert cartoons are not necessarily germane to the conversation, but I like Dilbert).

Never look at Pinterest, or Simple Magazine. Or any magazines marketed to women.

These things create problems that didn't exist. Maybe you were happily living your life when you decided to take a peek on Pinterest. Before you know it, there's a pin on "how to hold your sponge so it drains." You did not realize that this was a problem, mainly because the sponge is hidden under the sink-full of dishes. But now you know, and you can never go back. This is why your entire house will be a wreck while you're busy trying to make the "sponge holder."

Do something unorthodox for Lent

Can taking naps on my desk during lunch hour count as a Lenten discipline? I'd call it "quieting the mind."

If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute to do.

 Repeat after me: the mommy bloggers need never see your house

Tell me why it's a problem again?

If this is genetic, then it must have evolutionary purpose. Maybe while the organizers were dividing the bones by animal-type in the cave, the others were out getting shit done. Those wildebeests aren't going to spear themselves.

Don't take a damn bit of this advice, or any other advice, if you don't want to

Because you're not me. I'm just some fool on the internet that you've never met. For all you know I could be living in my mama's basement eating Cheetos all day, so what makes me knowledgeable? It's your life, with your problems, and don't let someone else make you feel lesser for a second. Especially not for something stupid like sponge holders.


  1. I laughed - great takes. I know all about the genetic deficit of time management.

  2. I once got detention in high school for someone gluing my hand to one of our workbooks. I was working on New Testament Survey (which consisted of memorizing the authors of the books, when they were written and reading the entire New Testament.) I was doing the reading, and forgot about the glue, later I stretched, the PACE was attached to my hand, the girls around me started giggling, and I got detention. :) So, yeah to the gluing your hair to the desk. Kinda.