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Sunday, August 3, 2014

Dear Fashion Designers

There seems to be a disconnect going on. Clothes are currently designed for those of prepubescent sizes - or, perhaps, athletic 16-18 year olds. Meanwhile, the only people with money to spend on clothes have bodies that are... larger. (Of course, there are us unfortunate folk without money to spend or figures, but that's another story). 

Fashion is a business, correct? As in, your entire raison d'ĂȘtre is to make money. Then start designing clothes for people with money! 

These outfits cannot fit normal-sized people. The problem is not size per say; it's that unless you are the shape of a popsicle stick, these articles will look devastating. Not in a good way. 


Can anyone explain what's going on here? If you need long sleeves, then your shoulders and tummy and legs will get mighty cold in that outfit. And the way that belt is riding up says there's a fit issue with the shorts, the acid-washed distressed shorts. Is this a hoax? Did someone say hey, let's have an 80s party and just let people think it's really in style again? 




And "rompers," otherwise known as baby clothes for grownups. Who is still buying things? They've been in stores for years now, and someone, somewhere still buys them. Whoever you are, please stop. Surely you have enough by now. The rest of us want to dress like adults. 




Or not. Since this look is from 2014, the rompers grew arms and legs. Sorry, this does not fix the problem. Better, but still no. Leave the jumpsuits in prison and the rompers in the playpen. 




Wha?

Fine, whatever. I don't care what ridiculous get-ups people wear. But if bras can be worn over shirts and be considered "trendy," then I have a few reasonable expectations when I go clothes shopping: 


1. There will be shirts that cover my waist

2. Some of these shirts will fit instead of floating a foot out in all directions 

3. Still other shirts will have sleeves (remember those?) 

4. There will be shorts that hit that sweet spot between boodylicious and grandma

5. There will be shirts and dresses made of quality fabric that do not require camisoles (because some of us live in 90 degree weather most of the year) 

6. There will be full articles of clothing without a single rip or tear that have not been "distressed" 


Sincerely, 

The rest of us 






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