Friday, December 6, 2013

7 Quick Takes: Lies About Winter

"December 21 is the first day of winter"

Where? In Miami?

Windshield Scrapers Work

Not so much. They'll get the snow off, but to dissolve the ice you need fluid. We get the big gallons.

Southern states are pleasant in winter

Actually Southern winter sucks because instead of snow you get freezing rain. And you know how humid heat is hotter than dry heat? Humid cold is colder than dry cold. So yeah, it's not as bad as Minnesota, but it's no picnic either. And your kids will always cry during Christmas specials because they never get snow.

Stay Inside So You Don't Get Sick

Actually it's the opposite. Kids who spent all winter (in Switzerland!) outdoors in a forest kindergarten did not get colds. (Doesn't mean it sounds like a fun time, but it does sound better than spending all winter at the pediatrician's). Colds and flu spread in the winter precisely because we stay indoors and breath on each other. Fresh air actually is a good idea. 

"You'll Get Used to It"

Hahahaha just kidding, I hate being outside in winter. And no, I won't get used to it. My body is fundamentally opposed to being cold. I'm the freak who goes outside when it's 98 degrees to warm up from the air conditioning in the office, and I love that nice "toasty oven" feel when you first walk out. I mean, I don't want to go running in it, but my body handles heat much better than cold.

Cold is Normal

Actually, we humans evolved in African plains.  Check out the fur on animals that evolved to survive cold climes: 

Yeah, we don't look like that. In fact, it doesn't take much for us to die from hypothermia, as evidenced by the statistics of homeless people who die from cold exposure every year. So tell me again how being cold is normal?

Being Cold Builds Character

My dad always said this whenever I complained too. I'm still waiting for the character part.

If being cold builds character, then what happened to Stalin? Guess his mama should have made him go barefoot.

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